Inappropirate Job Hunting

All right, so I had a really cute post planned for today about parents and the comparison thereof and so on and maybe I will still write it, but there's something that just happened that I have to talk about.

Last week I received a job application in my mailbox. Which would be fine, except we currently don't have a position open at Very Small Library. I sent a very polite, sort of bemused e-mail back (no way I was going to send her real mail back) mentioning that we posted all positions online on a big website. Already I was weirded out. I know some people practice this technique to get jobs, but it felt very pushy to me and uniformed. We're not a huge complex with hundred of opportunities.

Then, just now I received a phone call. "May I speak to the Library Director?" I answered that this was she and the woman on the other end expressed surprise. Already warning flags went off. See previous to me there was a four year reign of a male director, who had many many crazy part-timers come and go (to the continual mirth of the other departments).

"I sent out an application a week ago and I was wondering.."

Now at this point I knew exactly what was going on and behaved rather poorly. This is not the first time on of the previous part-timers have called looking for work, although the last one applied when there was an actual job opening.

"I sent you an e-mail." Which I had, very politely I thought considering the non-thoughtfulness of her application.

"Oh! I didn't get it...that's weird..." She trailed off. Now whether or not she got it doesn't matter. If you want a job, you're supposed to impress your prospective boss, not passive-aggressively accuse them of not doing something. I sort of lost my cool at this point as I just wanted her off the phone.

"We don't currently have a position open."

"Oh, but if you have one in the future..." I hate this expression. It sounds so desperate and sad. There is no position open, I'm not even being particularly patient with you. Why would campaign for future non-existent positions?

"This is a rather small library." I decided to state.

"I know, I was there when it was set up..." DING. DING. DING. You worked for us once and no longer do.

I'm not sure what I said after this exactly, but it was something along the lines of:

"We aren't anticipating any openings. Goodbye."

I know it was unnecessarily rude and abrupt. I do have some guilt about that. However,s he violated major rules of a job hunt that I know about as a first time job holder:

1. Don't send out mass mailings to places that aren't actively soliciting applications. Someone has to deal with that mail and you waste a lot of people's time just so you can find out what you already knew: they have no openings.

2. Unless you have insured that a. your old boss still works at there and b. they still like you, don't assume you have an 'in'.

3. Even if you assume you do have an 'in', call first do not send an application. People change jobs. Also? If you didn't know the person changed jobs (in this case over a year ago) you don't know them well enough to have an 'in'.

4. If you do violate 1 and you don't hear back, don't call! This is not a calling situation. If there was an actual ad you were replying to, by all means call. Why why why would call after sending in an unsolicited resume to a place you haven't worked in at least five years?

I am not excusing my own behavior as there is never cause to be as rude as I was to this woman. In my ideal world, I am Donna Reade sweet to everyone. This woman crawled under my skin for some reason. Oh well, I hope she finds gainful employment elsewhere with her disorganized campaign.