The Most Predictable Woman in the World

Mom: We will call you from Spain! It will be fabulous for I have a phone card!
Me: Uhh...I would buy a phone card when you get there from someone who will also tell you how to use one in English.
Mom: LALALALALA My Hispanic friends told me this would work!
Me: They are from Mexico not Spain...
Mom: LALALALALALALALA

Me: This is what will happen, they will go away and not call because they can't figure out how to use her phone card. She will keep telling my father that it is fine, I know will somehow surmise that they are perfectly all right. My father will eventually figure out that his daughter who suffers from similar anxiety issues will actually be thinking that they are dying in Spanish prison after being brutally beaten and robbed. He will then call right when I am on the verge of calling the cruise line to make sure they are alive.

Five Days in to them being away there is no phone call.

Nox: They're fine. Seriously. They're both 50+ years old. THEY. ARE. FINE.
Me: ::in tears:: Death! Spanish Prison! Mugged!
Nox: ::administers hugs and probably wonders what he did to deserve this::

Seven Days into trip, I start searching for cruise line's phone number when my cellphone rings.

Dad: So we couldn't figure out the phone card. Your mother wouldn't let me call you. She said you would know we were fine.
Me: Anxiety issues!
Dad: I know! I told her!
Me: ::sigh:: Well. Yeah.
Dad: I'm going to do a comedy act at the talent show on Saturday and tell poop jokes about the Duty Free shop!
Me: I love you, Dad.

My mother? Most predictable woman ever!

Catch you on the flipside,
CGL