Lonely Only: The Myth, The Legend, The Cold Stark Reality

I was reading one of those charts the other day that breaks down everything about you based on birth order. This particular chart had nearly nothing nice to say about onlys even though it found a few positives for the other sorts.

Being an only myself, I have a few things to say about this because after all, we're narcissistic bastards. So let's break it down:

1. Birth is a miracle.
First off, I'm a big believer in every birth is a miracle. But my parents hardly screamed out hallelujahs to the almighty when I was born. Not to mention they'd had three miscarriages (one late term) and if they wanted to think it was a miracle, they had a right. I never felt particularly miraculous.
2. Parents have no previous experience.
My dad is a kindergarten teacher and my mom worked with troubled youth. If they had more experiance they probably never would have had me at all.
3. Retains 200% attention from both parents. May become rival of one parent.
200%? These researchers apparently can't do math. Anyway, this was most definitly not true in my case. My mother worked two jobs (by choice) and my dad was getting his doctorate and working full time through most my early years. They tried their best, but I got maybe 50%.
4. Can be over-protected and spoiled.
Were my parents over-protective? It's hard to say since I was the most introverted kid ever until I got to high school. I was far more protective of myself then I would ever allow them to be. And I was certainly not spoiled. My mom taught me how to make her coffee when I was three. I always worked for what I got. Presents at birthdays and holidays were extremely reasonable. They did buy me a car and I did get to travel as a teen, but it was ingrained in me how lucky I was to get all those things.
5. Likes being the center of adult attention.
God, no! I was extremely respectful of authority figures and they liked me because of that, but I did not want the full focus of their attention ever. Way too scary.
6. Often has difficulty sharing with siblings and peers.
Did these guys miss the definition of only? Ok, I will cop to this one. Sharing gets to me sometimes. Then I slap myself upside the head and give it. Because sharing is a lot more fun.
7. Prefers adult company and uses adult language.
I preferred my parents company, not adults in general. I did use adult language. This I will agree is pretty much inevitable. It didn't help that my parents were big believers in not talking down to kids. Which is how I came to write a paper on paradigm shifts in eighth grade. Thanks, Dad.

I find the birth order psychology to be a lot like the horoscopes. If you say things generally enough it will count for most people.

Being an only child did not affect me much as a child. In fact, given my personality I was much better off then I might have been with a sibling. Having no siblings is only now starting to effect me. There won't be any weddings or cute nieces and nephews. My own potential kids will have to relay on their father for an extended family.

And yet, I would still say to anyone who asked: If you think you can only handle one kid, it is not a crime to only have one. Only children are not little adults with an endless sucking need for attention.

As a sub note, they also analyze adopted children and on behalf of Nox, I'm more offended then I was about the only child breakdown. He's a lot of things, but spoiled and demanding he isn't.

Catch you on the flipside,
CGL