My Little Song and Harry Potter Speculation

Today, I want to make a few speculations about the coming out of Harry Potter.... I mean the new book coming out of course. ::cough::gay::cough::. I am not a rabid Potter fan, never read the first four books and haven't enjoyed the two I did read. J.K Rowling is an odd writer for me, in that I love her characters and world, but hate her style and plots. I think she creates some really great foundation material and for that reason, I do read the books. And I do read them the day they come out because otherwise, inevitably someone will tell me what happens and I will lose all interest in reading them at all. Usually being spoiled will not prevent from reading a book, but it is hard to maintain interests for seven hundred pages of teenage boy whining.


The reason that I am speculating here is in deepest hope to be able to sing the following song (to the 1812 Overture):
IIIIIII told you so, I told you so, I hate to say I told you so, buuuuuuuuuut I told you so.


It's obnoxious and wonderful. And here is my promise to, for every point I get wrong I will reveal one embarrassing fact about myself.


On to the predictions:


1. Harry will not die. I would love if he did and if J.K. does kill him I will applaud her forever. It would certainly save her a lot of annoying fans begging for another books. I doubt that the publishing industry will allow it though as they would prefer for Harry to live on so they can market endless books about him ala Star Wars.


2. Snape will be vindicated. I base this on the fact that he has been vindicated every other time. In every single book Harry thinks he's the bad guy until lo it is proven that the evil professor was once again saving his bacon.


3. Snape will die. His sin of killing Dumbledore will not be allowed to pass even if he did it to
save everything ever.


4. Ron and Hermione will kiss, possibly many times, against all the laws of attraction ever. I love Ron. Hermione, despite frequent reminders that I am like her in so many ways, makes my skin crawl and eyeballs itch. I hope Ron hooks up with Neville, shocking everyone.


5. For the seventh time, no one will be gay, Jewish or have sex. Seventeen year olds never ever have sex. EVER. Nor do they celebrate Passover or look at same sex naughty bits. EVER.


6. There will be someone with a ridiculous accent.


7. Ok, this is the wild and crazy one. I believe that Dumbledore took Polyjuice potion and looking like Snape was the one who actually made the promise to Narcissa. Off the wall, but I figured I'd throw one out there.


8. Oh, R.A.B. how you make the internet shiver and quake. The obvious answer is that its Regulus Black. My prediction? It's Regulus. I'd like to think that she'd pull one out of left field, but this is an author who calls her werewolf character Wolfy McWolf Wolf and her black dog character Black Dog.


9. Someone will be annoying. Too easy.


10. Dumbledore will rise from the dead. She loves her animal symbols. LOVES. And there is so much freakin' phoenix imagery surrounding Dumbledore that if he doesn't rise from the dead, J.K. fails Anton Chekhov's cardinal rule: "If a gun is on the mantle in the first act, it must go off in the third."


11. The last line will be pedantic, trite and/or completely weird. Ending something that long on a perfect note is nearly impossible.


All right, that's it for my guesses. That's eleven potential embarrassing things you might find out about me. Come on J.K. don't fail me now!


Catch you on the flipside,
Chic Geek Librarian