The Dos and Don'ts of Monologues

There are many choices you will have to make when you interview for a new job. Should I wear a suit or something more informal? How many copies of my resume should I bring? How early should I leave to arrive on time?

You would only ask which monologue to bring if you were auditioning for a play. Why, oh why then, did the person I interviewed today bring on the monologue? He talked for twenty-five consecutive minutes in answer to a question that require little more then yes or no. Due to this enchanting behavior, none of the people interviewing this gentleman decided in his favor and that's putting the matter lightly.

So here are the dos and don'ts of monolgues from someone known to produce them herself:

DO share a funny story, amusing anecdote with friends and familiar colleagues.

DO NOT ever use the phrase 'You'll find this really interesting...' If you have to tell your audience it's interesting, then it's probably not.

DO be self-effacing (not self-abusing) and offer gentle morals along with your story.

DO NOT ever use the phrase 'God-give ability' when referring to yourself in an interview.

DO pay attention to things like people's eyelids and hand gestures. Most people are too polite for their own good and won't out right tell you that they would stab themselves repeatedly in the face if it would make you shut up.

DO NOT recount stories about your cat/dog/ferret/goldfish unless specifically asked to do so. Same goes for babies actually though they get a slight bit more leeway as they will one day be actual people.

DO respond when people ask you something even if interrupts your totally awesome story of amazingness.

And please, please, please keep a mental clock. Ask yourself, have I been talking for more then fifteen minutes straight without anyone interjecting? Unless you are teaching a class, talking to your dog/cat/ferret/goldfish or giving your complete medical history to a particularly compassionate nurse, stop. Take a breath and let someone else interject. I assure you by that time they will find something to say.

I'm sure you are a fascinating person, but the world is a busy place and we don't all got the time for fascinating.


Catch you on the flipside,
CGL